Durability of Testimony

 NOTE: I  wrote this as a Sacrament meeting talk. You are getting a preview. I edited a little for this platform.

I’m relatively new here but I’ve been a member of The Church of Jesus Christ since 1959! My name is Dave Johnson. I was 12 years old when we joined the church in St. Louis. 

I served my mission in California from June, 66 to June 68. In the interest of full disclosure, I have taken some license in this story. For example, names have been changed to protect the guilty.

After my mission I was drafted and went to Vietnam. I was discharged in 1971 and married in the Manti Temple in November 1972. In 74 I reenlisted in the Army. Our first child was born at Ft. Hood, TX in 75, second at Ft. Wainwright, Alaska in 77, and third at Ft. Riley in 79. We lived in Manhattan, KS.

In February of 1980 we were transferred to Germany. Shortly after our arrival in Germany, my wife and I were both called as temple workers in the Swiss Temple. We made several trips to the temple. Those were some of the most sacred events of my life. It was during an endowment session that the Holy Ghost testified to both of us that Temple Work is the Lord’s work.

I was discharged in October 1982 and we returned to Kansas City. I was hit upside the head by the fact that my military experience and skills were not marketable in the civilian world! We almost starved! In 1984 I took a job in North Carolina and we moved to Greensboro. The money was better but was still not enough to properly support a family of five! 

The stress on our marriage was intense. We stopped talking. We stopped enjoying our friendship. We stopped having fun with our kids. We stopped studying the scriptures and we stopped praying. I was an assistant stake clerk and she was in the Relief Society presidency.

In 1986 she filed for divorce. I did not see it coming as I was on the road a lot during that time! She was at home with three rambunctious kids and not enough money! Oh, I knew we were having serious problems in our marriage but I did not realize that divorce was her solution. I expected the financial problems to pass as I built the business, and we would be able to repair things.

I can’t begin to describe the pain, emotional, physical, and spiritual, that I suffered. In 1987 I ran into my high school sweetheart and were married in 1989. In 91 we went to the Chicago Temple and were sealed! By 1996 I was completely inactive. I have not been to church in 30 years, until recently, except for a few times in 2017, just before my mom passed away. She begged me to return to church.

You may be wondering where I’m going with this! In all those years disassociated from the saints, I never once, not even one time, considered denying my testimony of the Prophet Joseph Smith, The Book of Mormon, or the restoration! I can not deny what I know the Holy Ghost has verified in my life!

Oliver Cowdery was the Second Elder of the Church. That is a title and name the Lord gave him. Yet he left the church. He found his way back and rejoined the saints 10 years later in Winter Quarters. But he never denied any part of his testimony of the restoration. The Witnesses also never denied their testimonies. Peter, Christ’s chief apostle, denied the Savior three times, but when the cock crowed he realized what he had done and he repented, mightily! Judas Iscariot’s betrayal of the Savior lead to the crucifixion, but even he could not deny what he knew was true and he paid a very high price.

My personal experience and focus lately has centered on the durability of a testimony. A core principle of the restoration is continuing and personal revelation. In other words, personal communication between the Lord and each of us. The primary assignment of the Holy Ghost is to be our personal witness of Christ and his gospel. When we study the scriptures, attend the Temple, and magnify our callings, it is the whisperings of the Holy Ghost that opens the scriptures and gospel to our greater understanding.

I’m pretty sure the Holy Ghost is the best Gospel Doctrine teacher there is! It is the Holy Ghost that keeps our pathway bright. It is the Holy Ghost that makes us anxious for General Conference. We know that our apostles are called as special witnesses of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. We want to hear their words and learn from their special understanding! It was the Holy Ghost and some persistent loved ones that helped me return! When the Holy Ghost touches us it is indelible! 

Which brings us to my ex-wife, we’ll call her Linda. That is not her real name. Like I said, “Names have been changed to protect the guilty!” She also left the church after our divorce but she became very bitter. Her bitterness boiled over easily, sometimes into pretty fierce anger. We all tiptoed around the subject because any mention of the church would likely be unpleasant, to say the least.  

By 2017 all three of our kids had moved to Leavenworth, KS, which left Linda in North Carolina without family. In 2018 she moved to Leavenworth. That was awkward! She was a pretty brutal ex-wife….but again, in the interest of full disclosure, I might not have been all that saintly as an ex-husband!

After she had been here for a few weeks she asked me if I would answer some questions about the church. From the nature of her questions, I think her intention was to undermine me. I said sure and we actually talked, peacefully, about the church for about 20 minutes or so. I told her I know Joseph was a prophet, that the Book of Mormon is the word of God, brought forth by the gift and power of God, and that the gospel is true and restored!

All I got from her was a snort of derision! You know the sound, ppppfffftt!

Then I asked her if she would answer a question for me. She agreed. I said, “Was Joseph Smith a prophet of God or a fraud?” She said, “Oh, total fraud!” I was shocked to my core! This was not the woman I had been married to!

About two weeks later I asked her if she would answer a question for me.. She agreed. I lived with her for 14 years. We prayed together, we studied the scriptures together, she helped me prepare my gospel doctrine and gospel essentials classes. I helped her with her Relief Society and Primary work. We did missionary work. We were temple workers together. We picked strawberries until our backs ached. We shucked corn at the cannery until our hands were raw. Oh, so much corn!

I knew her. But, most importantly, I knew the things in her life that she held sacred. When Linda bore her testimony others could actually feel it!  Everyone has a special gift. Hers was the gift of testimony. She was also very good at applying scriptures or historical events to our lives today.

After she agreed to answer a question, I rehearsed our life together. I mentioned three specific events that I knew were especially sacred to her. Then I asked, “Linda, was it real or did you make it all up.”

Brothers and sisters, it was like I had whacked her with a broom handle! She actually jerked and stared at the floor, for quite a while. Finally, she looked up and said, “Dave, I haven’t thought about those things for 35 years.” I said, “You mean you buried it so deep it didn’t even pop up as a memory?” She said Yes.

I said, “Well, Linda, that does not answer the question. Was it real, or was it made up?” She looked back at the floor again. After a long while, she looked back at me. With tears in her eyes she said, very quietly, “It is real.” I didn’t asked her if the church is the restoration of Christ’s church. I figured that would be pushing it. She still did not speak highly of the church but the bitterness and anger were gone. She really softened up, a lot!

I wonder if she would have found her way back to the church. In April, 2023 she was diagnosed with kidney cancer and she passed away in January, 2025. She asked her brother-in-law for a blessing. I wasn’t there to hear that blessing but I’m told it was very special. I hope the blessing was comforting for her.

Here’s the takeaway! Even through her bitterness, when confronted about her sacred experiences, she could not deny it was real. Oliver Cowdery couldn’t, the Witnesses couldn’t, Peter couldn’t, Judas Iscariot couldn’t, and Linda couldn’t.

I don’t think anyone who has experienced the touch or whispering of the Holy Ghost can deny the experience, especially to themselves. People might leave the church and even fight against it but, I believe, if they are brought face to face to their experiences with the Holy Ghost in their life, as Linda was, they must confess, “It is real!” 

This is not doctrine, so don’t quote me, but I have a feeling that comes the judgment, the Lord will ask us, “What did you do with the testimony I bestowed upon you?”

Brother and sisters, I testify to you that testimony, your experience with the Holy Ghost is durable. We will not be able to deny the whisperings of the Holy Ghost to our own spirit!

I hope I will not have to search for an answer!