Many of my adoring fans know I had cancer in 1995 but some do not. It was "Seminoma" a.k.a. Testicular Cancer. I had been feeling poorly for a few weeks. In late August I started having a dull ache in my groin but it would go away after a while. I didn't think much of it. On Wednesday the pain became much more intense. It was more intense than any groin injury I ever had from playing sports! It hurt from my groin to my diaphragm and into my shoulders! My wife got all upset but I said, "Aw it ain't nothing. Just pulled a muscle or something." (Yeah, that was dumb!) When I got ready for bed I discovered that I was swollen up at least double my normal size! My wife called "Ask a Nurse. They said I needed to get to the doc. Sleepless night! Next morning I went to see my doctor. He took one look at me and said, "Dave, I'm going to call the hospital and get you scheduled for an ultrasound as soon as possible!"
Friday morning at the hospital I was ushered into the treatment room. The tech was a cute little babe named Scarlett. Damn she was pretty! I climbed up on the table. I had on a hospital gown and nothing else. Scarlett draped a towel over me to preserve my modesty and proceeded to probe my scrotum with the ultrasound wand. She kept going over the same area repeatedly. She would erase the image from the screen and scan the same area again. Finally, I interrupted her and asked, "Scarlett, are you having problems getting a clear image?" She said that she was having a problem getting the picture she needed. I said, "Scarlett, I'm pretty sure I have cancer. Modesty is the least of my worries right now. Move the towel and get the picture you need." She moved the towel and the procedure was done in five minutes.
I tried to get her to tell me what she saw. She said she is not a doctor and could not discuss the images with me. Maybe I was a pest but she finally turned to me, put her hands on her hips and said, "Mr Johnson, I cannot discuss it with you but I will tell you this, 'It is important enough that I am going to go get the radiologist to talk to you!'" Well, that really made my Friday! The radiologist came in and looked at the images and did a couple scans of his own. Then he said, "Dave, it is consistent with cancer. He gave me a referral to a urologist. I was scheduled for a "Right Inguinal Orchiectomy" which is doctor speak for surgical removal of the testicle.
I should mention that testicular cancer is one of the most curable cancers a man can have. The doctor said, "If you have to have cancer, this is the one to pick!" Seminoma is rare, only about 6,000 cases in the US per year and of that number only about 4% are fatal. Even in later stages it is usually curable. Mine was early stage. It hurt a LOT when my nad exploded and bled but it was probably the best thing that could have happened!
My surgery was on Monday, just a few months after a surgeon in Florida had amputated the wrong leg of a diabetic patient. When my doctor pulled back the sheet to prep me for the procedure he found a piece of tape with the words "THIS SIDE!!" taped to my right leg! LOL. I didn't want the wrong nut on the floor!
After I recovered from the surgery I had radiation. My total dose over 22 days (weekends off) was about 2,500 rad. The doc said a dose that large could be fatal if it was received in one dose! He also said there was about a 60% chance that the surgery cured the cancer entirely but having the radiation would raise the cure percentage to 96%! I thought it was worth it! The radiation made a mess of my intestinal flora! You can figger that one out for yourself!
After the radiation treatments I had another CAT scan. The urologist said, "Dave, the CAT scan detected an unexplainable thickening in you large bowel." He referred me for a colonoscopy! YUCK! The prep for that was awful but, again, I am sure glad I did it! I had three pre-cancerous polyps removed. I had follow up colonoscopies two years and ten years later and was clear! I would have developed colon cancer if not for the CAT scan and colonoscopy! I would not have had the CAT scan if I hadn't had Seminoma!
If you are male learn to do a testicular self-exam. CHECK YOURSELF OUT! Click Here for the WEBMD page about testicular self exam.
In that regard, I submit the following. In 2000 or 2001 an MTV on-screen personality, Tom Green, was diagnosed with testicular cancer. His cancer was much more advanced than mine. He had the whole thing filmed by MTV film crews! His surgery included the orchiectomy and removal of abdominal lymph structures. After his surgery and recovery and his return his MTV show, he aired the Tom Green Cancer Special. The videos are on Youtube. Tom is very frank and open about his cancer. Some of you may be shocked at the videos or the song he wrote, "Feel Your Balls Feel You Balls! [so you won't get cancer!]" The surgical procedure is quite explicit! It was also much more extensive than mine! WATCH IT! Green knew his audience. His goal was to send teenage boys into the bathroom to perform a testicular self-exam (TSE). This is not like any cancer show you have seen on Dr. Oz or Discovery Health! Thanks to Tom's special, many cancers in teenage boys were found and treated!
This link is to the Tom Green Cancer Special that ran on MTV. Click Here for the Tom Green Cancer Special video on Youtube.
Also Of Interest...
Olympic Figure Skating Champion Scott Hamilton also had testicular cancer. . Click Here for the Scott Hamilton story.
John Kruk played baseball for the Phillies. The Phillies wanted him to spend more time in recovery but he wanted to play baseball. He had a t-shirt made that said [Front] "If you don't let me play" [Back] "I'm gonna take my ball and go home!"
The movie "Brian's Song" was about Brian Piccolo and his losing fight against Germ Cell testicular cancer.
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