We are currently experiencing a phenomenon known as "Solar Minimum." During episodes of solar minimum the sun's output is exceptionally low. We experience these lows as cool summers, extra cold winters and low numbers of hurricanes and tornadoes.
On the other extreme is the "Solar Maximum." Episodes of solar maximum are marked by exceptionally high summer temps, warm pleasant winters, and large numbers of powerful hurricanes and tornadoes. Solar maximum can be very dangerous to humans due to the extreme heat associated the expanding solar atmosphere. (Solar maximum also tends to bring out the insanity of the political left (primarily Algore) in predicting global warming will end humanity. Solar minimums make him crawl back under his rock.)
Solar maximums and minimums occur in cycles of approximately eleven years with more intense episodes every thirty years. Extreme cycles occur about every three hundred years. Some maximums and minimums are more intense than others.
Women experience a similar phenomenon marked by episodes of "Hormonal Maximums and Minimums." Hormonal minimum is characterized by crying and depression and, as in solar minimum, very low output. Women are difficult to be around during an episode of hormonal minimum because men do not understand that the crying and depression are not a reflection on him. He still wants to fix it but all the chocolate in the world does not help. Chocolate is thought to lift her spirit and lighten her mood.
On the other extreme is the hormonal maximum, also commonly referred to as "On Her Period." Her period is characterized by irrationality, extreme rage and other unpleasant physical and psychological manifestations. A woman is very dangerous when she is "on her period." Men are advised to stay away, go fishing, work late or whatever they can do to avoid confrontation. Confrontation during the "period" may comprise nothing more than coming home from work and saying "Hi sweetie. Good to see you!" All he can do is throw chocolate at the devil but she is never appeased. Chocolate is thought to help calm her down and soften her rage.
These episodes of hormonal extremes happen on approximately a twenty eight day cycle. The two week interval from hormonal minimum to maximum is characterized by less frequent crying and depression but increasing irrationality and rage. This interval is called "waxing" hormone levels. The corresponding interval from hormonal maximum to minimum is referred to as "waning" hormone levels. There is a short interval during the waxing and waning cycle, approximately two to three days each that is referred to as hormonal utopia, where the woman is relatively stable and sometimes even pleasant to be around. If the man is fortunate enough to have a woman who cooks, she may be unusually careful and even try to not burn the toast!
Men are advised to keep a sizable supply of chocolate handy because Satan is always hungry!
These episodes of hormonal extremes happen on approximately a twenty eight day cycle. The two week interval from hormonal minimum to maximum is characterized by less frequent crying and depression but increasing irrationality and rage. This interval is called "waxing" hormone levels. The corresponding interval from hormonal maximum to minimum is referred to as "waning" hormone levels. There is a short interval during the waxing and waning cycle, approximately two to three days each that is referred to as hormonal utopia, where the woman is relatively stable and sometimes even pleasant to be around. If the man is fortunate enough to have a woman who cooks, she may be unusually careful and even try to not burn the toast!
Men are advised to keep a sizable supply of chocolate handy because Satan is always hungry!
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